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Planning A Golf Holiday With Your Friends – Just Don’t Be “That Guy”

We all love a golf getaway with our friends, one full of laughs, experiences and memories that last a lifetime. Every time you meet afterwards, a story will come up and whisk you all back to the holiday, rekindling happy thoughts of the fantastic adventure you shared together.

However, from time to time there is always “that guy”.  The stories seem to take a different tone, a “I can’t believe he did that” or “how embarrassed he must be” comment instead of bringing back joyful memories. Who is “that guy”?

The perfectionist who thinks he is everyone else’s coach and will comment and offer advice after every swing whether it is on the range, during the round or afterwards in the nineteenth hole. You know the one. He shoots a higher score than everyone else, but insists he knows everything there is to know about the golf swing and will constantly tell you everything that you are doing wrong.  Or worst, after you hit a good shot, he will comment that you got lucky or got away with one there. Don’t be this guy.

The fisherman who cannot walk by a water hazard without grabbing his trusty ball retriever and begins fishing for balls. As everyone else is continuing the hole, he stays there fishing for ball after ball and then realizing half of them are not worth playing and throws them back into the hazard. Your ball retriever becomes your most played club during the round and everyone else is just becoming annoyed. Don’t be this guy.

Qualifier for Team Rolex.  This is a term that is used for someone that is constantly playing slower then slow. He is the one who is so meticulous over every shot that he slows down the entire group turning what could have been a nice leisurely round into a six-hour painful encounter. He looks at every putt from six different angles, constantly throws grass in the air on a perfectly calm day, and takes four looks at the target after setting up before striking the ball. As the late legendary Moe Norman once asked me “the target doesn’t move, does it?” From that point on, it is one look and then fire.  Team Rolex is nothing to brag about, don’t be this guy.

The tour star who thinks he plays by half yardages and berates his caddie for every missed shot. Sure, the caddies yardages or reads may be slightly off from time to time, but in reality plenty of their advice or guidance is helping you a lot more than it is hurting you. Also, these caddies probably worked in the rice fields before this job, not on tour. Be patient with the caddies as they are a great addition to the round and bring a sense of joy and appreciation to the game. We all miss some shots from time to time, and sometimes it is just that, a missed shot. Enjoy the experience of a caddie and don’t be this guy.

There is always something guy.  The greens are too slow, the greens are too fast, the course is too dry, the course is too wet, the course is so short, the course is impossible long, it is too hot today, it is always raining, the group in front of us is so slow, why is the group behind playing so quick, the fairways are too narrow, the course is a wide-open pasture. We all know this guy, there is always something that he will complain about no matter how good the day, the course or the experience is. The rest of the group is enjoying the fact of being away from home and playing some golf.  Relax, smile, have fun and don’t be this guy.

Mr. Mulligan who always needs a second try at every shot and insists of counting Player B for his score. No matter the result of the first shot, he is convinced he could have done better and will always say “hold on, just one more” and reload time and time again. Once and a while we would all like a do-over or maybe have a breakfast ball off the first tee, but the rest of the time as Bobby Jones eloquently stated “in golf as in life, we have to play the ball as it lies”.  Besides a miracle recovery from deep within the trees is always remembered more than a simple shot from the middle of the fairway, so don’t be this guy.

Mr. Smooth who always thinks he can score with the caddies. Sure, a little flirtation is some of the fun part of having a young cute caddie with your group for the round, but this guy likes to take it a step further into that uncomfortable zone. The caddy’s cute smiles and adorable nature is part of their charm, but they are there for the job of caddying, not finding a date for the night. Have fun and the odd joke and wink but keep it to a caddie and player relationship, no further, don’t be this guy.

Fabrege Egg guy who can never abandon a search for his lost ball. He’s the one that hit his shot a mile into the swamp, but will search aimlessly for a ball of similar value to replace his lost beloved Pro V. You should always play a ball that you are willing to lose, not one that will stop the flow of the round for 15 minutes as you keep saying “I know it’s right here somewhere” as everyone else is wanting to continue the game, don’t be this guy.

Blowing a gasket guy.  We all get a little frustrated with poor shots or a high score on a hole, but most of us know that is just part of golf and mumble to ourselves under breath and head off to the next hole. But not this guy, he throws clubs, rips gloves, curses out loud and gets into a foul mood that nobody wants to be around. The rest of the group becomes tense and don’t quite know what to do or say as they are afraid to tip him over the edge even more. Yes, this guy will not only ruin his own round by imploding, but also distracts others from their game and enjoyment of the beautiful time away. Don’t be this guy.

So, there you have it. Be on the look-out if one of these personality traits starts creeping into your game while enjoying a round in Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia or any other Indochina destination on your Golfing Holiday as “this guy” will not only be a detriment to your game, but will take away from all your friends vacation and you definitely don’t want to be that guy. –

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